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Daredevil Monkey Proves Evolution

As hard as it is to believe recent studies have shown that the average Kirk Cameron is more wrong than right. This has been a very hard pill for Christians to swallow, but perhaps they should have picked a smarter spokesman than Kirk Cameron. Zack Morris, for example, was available. What has truly baffled most researchers though is that while most Kirk Camerons are wrong, there have been a huge increase in Mike Seavers being correct.

What this all really comes down to is monkeys. Beautiful, scampering, wide eyed, long tailed monkey. Cameron and his mustachioed friend, Ray Comfort, put out the theory that man cannot be descended from monkeys because a monkey can't eat at a restaurant. In C & C's Christian Factory's presentation The Way of the Master, they demonstrate that a monkey can't read menus, communicate with waiters, or use utensils. What's a fork, if you have monkey paws. The average monkey has no concept of napkins. It can't pay for the meal, no cash or credit. According to Kirk Cameron logic, a monkey therefor has no relation to man. However, there are some real major flaws with that logic. Most Aborigines who have never seen a restaurant, would have little understanding of a sit down restaurant. Are they less than human. A Kirk Cameron would assume so. I rarely use a napkin myself and have no clue which fork is for which course. Am I less than human? Well, yes, but for an entirely different set of reasons.

Introduce Monkey Knievel... the Cameron Nightmare. Does a monkey daredevil prove evolution? A daredevil itself is a defiance against god. A daredevil faces the wrath of god (in the form of flaming hoops or a line of buses) and says, “I am not afraid. I will jump this, God!” A monkey daredevil simply says, “I am evolved.” Observe the outfit—both flashy and useful. Would an unintelligent beast care about either flash or substance? Would it take the time to sew on stars, or would it wear a flame retardant jumpsuit? If not behaving in a restaurant proves that creationism is correct, does a monkey performing death defying tricks prove the theory of evolution? By Kirk Cameron logic... perhaps.

All kidding aside, neither is a good argument. I'll say that while not wrong, I'm overly optimistic about Monkey Knievel proving anything scientific. However, it's just plain fun seeing a monkey do tricks. My fuzzy logic doesn't make Mr. Cameron right either. Let's look at the facts and see how Kirk Cameron is dead wrong about everything (including but not limited to Christianity, evolution, homosexuality, raising homeless kids, Coach Lubbock, starring in Our Town, Mr. DeWitt, or giving “Boner” the nickname without any realization that its a euphemism for an erection [furthering my surprise that Cameron didn't make them change the character name to “Bonus Christ”]).

What Monkey Knievel is an evolution of is street performing in Indonesia. Monkey performers have been a staple of Indonesian street markets, and monkey daredevils are the next stage. It's not too hard for a kid to trap a monkey, slap it on a mini-bike, and make a few bucks. The occasional wheelie is good for a few dollars more. The World Wild Life fund is currently out to shut down Monkey Knievel and his dare-primate brethren. However, Topeng Monyet (roughly translated to “Masked Monkey”) is considered an art form by many Indonesians. These monkeys do live in squalid conditions, but for the most part, so do their handlers.

Follow up:

But if anything proves primate intelligence... check out how this monkey waits for traffic!

Monkey Riding Mini Bike - Watch more Animal Videos

Photos Courtesy of Bizarre Magazine