Monkey Trouble

Monkey with a Gun

Recently in the news it was reported that the Old Navy monkey, Travis, was involved in a shoot out with the Connecticut police. Travis the Chimp was found to be high on Xanax and shivved by his prison bitch, Sandra Herold.

The incidental started when Travis the Chimp attacked a friend of Herold's, ripping her face off in the fashion of Leatherface. It is unknown if Travis planned to wear her face as a mask.

In other news, Great Grape Ape was arrested for statutory rape, and Chim-Chim was sentenced to Grand Theft Auto. Perhaps, Kirk Cameron was right after all. Only bad things can happen from dressing a monkey up like a person. In all truthfulness, I don't want to be wearing pants either, I just can't see way a monkey would either.

Grape Ape
  • J. Schneider
    Comment from: J. Schneider
    02/26/09 @ 11:00:48 am

    I can only assume that Grape Ape has been pursuing the same holistic, natural, not-obviously-steroidal fitness regimen as Carrot Top (sans terrifying eye shadow).

  • Comment from: Wolf
    02/26/09 @ 03:13:15 pm

    Carrot Top is way too buff, it’s a sad state of affairs really. When I was younger and life got me down, I used to just say, “Well, at least, I’m hotter than Carrot Top.” And now what do I have?