Wolf Gnards Salutes Jonathan Ke Quan

Short Round

Perhaps, I've talked too much ab out Asians that make me sad. The time has come to honor the greatest Asian actor of ours or any generation. An actor so great, he accomplished everything that could ever be accomplished in just two movies. Wolf Gnards salutes the godfather of Asian cinema, Jonathan Ke Quan. Oh, you remember Jonathan. Come one. Ok, maybe you know him better as Short Round from Indiana Jones, Data from the Goonies, and... and... that's about it. He was in Encino Man for three seconds as Asian Computer Nerd #1. But knowing when to get out when you're on top is a good quality, too.

Some of you might say Jonathan's accent was a little much, but that's how he spoke, fifdy dowwa biwa and all. That's just earnest acting from the heart. What did I like about Jonathan Ke Quan? It wasn't that he was driving around Indiana Jones. It wasn't his boxing glove gadget, the bully blinders, or pinchers of peril. Yes, he was short as he was round and we loved him for it, but for me it was simple solidarity. Here was an Asian boy... in a movie. That was it. In the 80's we were only allowed to have the one Asian, so we respected our Asian. Because that was it, we weren't getting another one.

So, I loved him. You loved him. Steven Spielberg certainly loved him. Then he was gone and no one could fill that void. After Jonathan Ke Quan there was... um... and... ah... Rufio? That can't be right. There has to be more than two young Asian actors in the past 25 years!? Wow, we are not a demographic anyone cares about. And that's how Hollywood got me to see movies apparently, they dangled Short Round then yanked him away, and I'd go see movies anywhere hoping that Short Round would make a cameo.

Spielberg Chart

* Rufio was in Hook in 1991

Surely such box office flops like Jurassic Park, Schindler's List, and Saving Private Ryan could have used a little Jonathan magic.

Data Action Figure

And, yeah, Jonathan Ke Quan has his own action figure. Still a bad ass.

  • jovan
    Comment from: jovan
    09/29/09 @ 11:20:58 pm

    Dude, what about Ernie Reyes Jr.? Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze, Surf Ninjas, and lastly the ripped native dude in The Rundown (he was also the short running guy in Rush Hour 2).

  • W. G. Nards
    Comment from: W. G. Nards
    09/29/09 @ 11:50:08 pm

    Ah, yes, Ernie Reyes Jr.! Good call. The Last Dragon, a classic.

  • Mike
    Comment from: Mike
    09/30/09 @ 12:43:53 am

    They just showed an Indy marathon over the weekend here in Korea... nice to see this now.

  • traylove
    Comment from: traylove
    09/30/09 @ 10:19:26 am

    PLEASE tell me you OWN the action figure!

  • J.M.S. Esq.
    Comment from: J.M.S. Esq.
    09/30/09 @ 02:34:15 pm

    What about every actor in Better Luck Tomorrow?

  • Nicki
    Comment from: Nicki
    09/30/09 @ 09:50:52 pm

    No love for Long Duck Dong?

  • W. G. Nards
    Comment from: W. G. Nards
    10/01/09 @ 08:22:59 am

    No love for the Donger. He perpetuates racist stereotypes, plus he was a little too old to be a young Asian boy in the 80's. Well into his 30's.

    Here's where Long Dong Duck shows up on the Asian chart:

    I do not own the Data action figure. It would make an excellent stocking stuffer for anyone who happens to stuff my stockings.

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