'Tis the Season for Cosby Sweaters
Top Non-Cosby Cosby Sweaters
Nothing says winter like a nice, warm Cosby sweater. While the Coogi sweaters of The Cosby Show fame were not the first ugly sweaters ever created, they certainly helped put the ugly sweater on the map. How to you recognize a Bill Cosby sweater? Cosby sweaters are often colorful (frequently incorporating all colors of the visible spectrum in a single shirt), and most have some sort of stripe pattern. Patterned images can be incorporated but are rare, most Cosby sweaters de-evolve into random squiggling wuzzle woozle... they are the Jackson Pollocks of winter wear. Though in the right light, almost all ugly sweaters can qualify as a Cosby sweater.
The most important feature of Bill Cosby's sweaters are not the ugly patterns or designs but the cost. You may not be aware of this but Coogi sweaters are insanely expensive for being so hideous. These aren't cheap ugly sweaters, these are the highest quality ugly sweaters money can buy; each one costing between $300-$500 a pop. This means that after 8 seasons (201 episodes), Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable spent anywhere between $60,000 and $100,000 on sweaters! A Cosby sweater basically says, “I'm so rich and powerful, I can blow a 100 grand on something that looks like it was knitted on a toilet.”
However, the Cosby sweater did not die with the end of The Cosby Show. In fact, you can still buy brand new Coogi sweaters today, still as ugly and expensive as ever. And Cosby sweaters still make appearances in some of our favorite movies and TV shows.
My Favorite Cosby Sweaters not Worn by Bill Cosby
The Wesley Crusher Sweater
Young Wil Wheaton wore several varieties of Cosby sweaters (the most famous being this rainbow ensemble) throughout the run of Star Trek: The Next Generation. In fact, many children can be found with Cosby sweaters in Star Trek universe. Check out Jake Sisko if you a have second, I think he wore actual sweater rejects from the Cosby set. But the way it seems to be is if someone was non-Starfleet and under the age of 18, then they probably wore a large colorful sweater. Which can only mean that the future of teenage fashion is Bill Cosby.
The Freddy Krueger Sweater
Freddy's classic sweater meets all the qualities: bright colors (red and green), striped, wuzzle woozled. What's the difference? Vertical stripes are clearly Bill Cosby sweaters, but if you turn those same stripes on their sides and all of sudden you have yourself a Freddy Krueger sweater. Vertical stripes = Bill Cosby, horizontal stripes = Freddy Krueger. Vertical stripes = save children, horizon stripes = kill children. Beware of horizontal stripes, this is a tip that could save your child's life.
The Dude Sweater
Cosby and The Big Lebowski's Dude have many things in common. The Dude and Bill Cosby both told rambling stories that may or may not get to a relevant point. They both knew guys named Walter who often got their friends into wacky predicaments (Theo's best friend Cockroach was named Walter). And they both liked to unwind with a nice sweater and a White Russian.
The Harry Potter Sweater
Harry Potter was actually the least of the Cosby sweater offenders in the Harry Potter films. Since every film had winter scenes, magical sweaters seemed to be the must have for the wizard on the go. Hermione could be found in Cosby Sweaters, Ron's mom almost exclusively wore Cosby sweaters, Ron's sister and brothers as well, and Quidditch players were often spotted in Cosby sweaters. There seems to be a pattern that is of and related to Ron Weasley. Maybe, Ron gives Cosby sweaters as Christmas gifts. Just about the only person at Hogwarts not seen in a sweater was Snape. All of which though makes me wonder just what kind of magic do the Cosby sweaters contain?
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