Heroes returns, as does the trusty Hiro Meter. Every time I activate the Hiro Meter though, I always say, "this is the last time." Heroes (the show) has gotten kind of boring, and Hiro (the man) is just a lesson in futility. He will never be anything more than a half-ass stereotype and the show has become a soap opera with super powers.
Nonetheless, here's your Hiro!
Babbling... -1. Hiro's sci-fi pop culture babbling should have been fun, and that's what the show was trying to make you think. Hiro said a funny. But the deeper meaning is that Hiro is a pretend hero. Without his genuine personality, all he had to cling to was fictional bits and pieces of fantasy heroes. What they're trying to say is deep down inside, Hiro (and by extension the Asian male) is nothing.
Heroes is Awful... -1. While this doesn't reflect Hiro's role in the Asian community, the fact that one of the only shows with an Asian lead is so bad, just says bad things all around. Plus, Hiro wasn't even in the second half, letting what should rightfully be his TV show become Claire & the Gang.
Though, that does bring up one interesting point. I've always ragged on Masi Oka because he gets less and less screen time. I thought it was because he just doesn't ask for it, and he gets pushed around by producers and executives. But what if he knows the show is bad and is slowly trying to distance himself by being in fewer and fewer episodes?
Tired of answering the question, "Where did you get your glasses?" Lisa Loeb finally did something about it.
Our favorite girl with glasses, has come out with a line of eyewear guaranteed to attract guys from 1995. That's the biggest problem with either a guy traveling to the future, or a girl traveling to the past... how do you break the ice and hook up? He's either too caveman Dave Mathews Band or she's too Lady Gaga silver jump suit. Lisa Loeb's glasses certainly can't hurt.
Besides picking up guys from fifteen years ago, her glasses are great for librarian or granny cosplay. If you're really looking for a good time try librarian granny singer-songwriter from the future.
It certainly does it for me!
Seriously, let's do this.
Look what was waiting under my Christmas tree...
The Short Round Mighty Mugg! I didn't even know it existed and now I don't know how I ever lived without it. What does Short Round do? Absolutely nothing, but with that level of awesomeness why would he need to do anything? As we know, he is perhaps the greatest thespian of our time, and he's sitting on my book shelf.
Short Round is an exclusive from Entertainment Earth, so you better run out and stock up why supplies last. When the Asian revolutions comes, you'll be glad you did. These things will be like gold bricks.
Vlogger Philip Defranco came up with a nice geek test...
If this picture does anything to your nether regions, if it twitches or moves, tingles, or pumps blood in any way then you just might be a geek.
Sexy Spock was found on FreePicturesforYou.net, and has been beaming through various interwebs and nerd circles. It's kind of an unfair question though because she's an attractive girl. So, of course, a cute girl is cute regardless of scifi affiliation. The better question would be is she hotter as herself or as a female Spock*? I'm going to have go with sexier as Spock.
*Note. She might not be a Female Spock, but any number of cute Vulcan chicks. There is a certain Spockiness to her though.
Let's check out out the Wolf Gnards mail bag...
Little Brian A. asks:
Didn't the Delorean in Back to the Future only have to go 88mph to travel through time? How fast did other spaceships/cars/what-have-yous have to travel to create the black holes and what nots?
It's fortunate that I happened to major in Back to the Future with a Minor in Huey Lewis.
It's often mistaken that speed is the crucial element of time travel, and that 88 mph is a critical speed for creating a worm hole through time in the movie Back to the Future. However, 88 mph is only the speed in which a DeLorean DMC-12 needs to travel through time.
Two things are needed to warp time, neither is the Power of Love. Matter and energy are needed to bend time. We know the energy involved is 1.21 gigawatts. The matter in this instance is simply the DeLorean and it's stainless steel design. Because of the speed involved and since mass is the actual key component to time travel, it can be conferred that energy and the proper momentum are needed for time travel. Momentum being equal to mass times velocity. A DeLorean that weighs 2,712 lb (1,230 kg) needs a momentum of 48387.6 SI (meter-kilogram-second system) . Using this momentum and E=mc2 as a template, we can figure out time travel speeds and energy for any mode of transportation.
Train (Locomotive and one Carriage)
Weight: 240 tons
Time Travel Variables: 5 mph and 27122.80 gigawatts
Interestingly the bigger the object the less speed it needs because the larger mass makes it easier to bend time, however, more energy is required to bridge that object through the space/time continuum. Dr. Brown might need a little more than steam power to equal several thousand atomic bombs worth of energy.
Weight: 5500 lbs.
Time Travel Variables: 43 mph and 4.67 gigawatts
The only thing better than a DeLorean time machine is a DeLorean van time machine.
Weight: 250 lbs.
Time Travel Variables: 955mph, .01 gigawatts
Looks like all you need is a rocket bike and AA batteries for power. Smaller objects need less energy, but higher speeds to leap through time.
Weight: 1800 lbs.
Time Travel Variables: 133 mph, .53 gigawatts
A boat might just be the best mode of Time Travel. Plus you don't have to worry about running into a wall. A shark, maybe.
Weight: 10000 lbs.
Time Travel Variables: 24 mph, 16.48 gigawatts
Correction, the only thing better than a DeLorean van is a DeLorean monster truck. The hillbillies have time travel!
American Style Aluminum Phone Booth
Weight: 150 lbs.
Time Travel Variables: 1591 mph, .0036 gigawatts
Bill & Ted may need rocket fuel to navigate through the Circuits of History.
British Police Box (Steel and Concrete)
Weight: 2000 lbs.
Time Travel Variables: 119 mph, .66 gigawatts
Hot Tub (Filled with Water)
Weight: 3700 lbs.
Time Travel Variables: 65 mph, 2.25 gigawatts
Where's Michael J. Fox? He enjoys a good pool party still.
Weight: 77000 metric tons
Time Travel Variables: 0 mph, 4740847151.52 gigawatts
Who needs to sling shot around the sun if you have a flux capacitor? Since the Enterprise is so huge, it barely needs to move to travel through time, impulse power is more than enough punch. However, that amount of energy pushes even the limits of dilithium crystals. Or maybe not, the output of the Enterprise's warp core changes episode from episode. All I know is that a dilithium crystal does something to a thingie and Scotty is always bitching about needing more of them.
So, what happened to the Hiro Meter, you ask? Well, one: Heroes is in on hiatus. And two (the much larger two): it's kind of depressing. It's just the same thing over and over again: Hiro does something racist, Hiro does something cute, Hiro does something embarrassing, Hiro almost redeems himself, Hiro falls further than he ever was. At this point, it's really just more of bad writing than any slight against Asians.
Still, I let the meter run and I do have the results for the last two episodes of Heroes before break.
Bashful around nude Lydia... -1. Yes, we get it, Hiro is terrible with girls. Let's move on.
Teleports Lydia to the Past... +1,-1. Great crucial plot points and teleports them away in the nick of time. But he almost didn't. Just another knock on Hiro's impotence, especially considering he couldn't even function around a naked woman earlier. The trip was a wash for Asian cred.
Backs Down to Samuel... -1.
Immediately followed by Standing up to Samuel, AKA "Little man standing up for himself"... +1.
Which resulted in Hiro getting his mind wiped (again)... -1. This is the old adage, what happens to Peter happens doubly bad to Hiro. Peter has had his mind wiped once in the series, Hiro has had his wiped twice.
No Hiro... -1
Overall, Hiro had a -3 Asian points
But enough about Hiro, here's an Asian I like...
At first I thought he was talking gibberish then I realized he was doing a pitch perfect Jason Mraz.