This is not Bill Gates's Daughter

This is not Bill Gates's Daughter. It's like in The Matrix: There is no spoon. Do not try and bend Bill Gates's daughter. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. There is no daughter. Then you'll see, that it is not Bill Gates's daughter that bends, it is only yourself.

Bill Gates Daughter

A few weeks ago when I was looking up pictures of Bill Gates (as one often does), I stumbled across these pictures of Bill Gates's so-called “daughter,” Jennifer Gates. To say I was skeptical would be an understatement. However, just because she's cute doesn't mean she can't be of or related to Bill Gates, it just makes it unlikely. Ivanka Trump came from Donald after all, even Chris Elliott managed to produce Abby Elliott. A hot enough mom will make up for any of inefficiencies with the father's contribution. A 10 mom and a 4 dad should produce, at least, a daughter who's a 7. Although, it's almost never as mathematically even as that. DNA is unpredictable, hotness can come from almost any combination of ugly genes. Even unfortunateness like Bruce Willis face and Billy Joel face can happen.

Rachael Leigh Cook

But back to Bill Gates. The problem is being a well known connoisseur of cute brunettes, I was instantly able to identify this picture as Rachael Leigh Cook (even as unbrunette as the pictures may be). Ever wonder what happened to Rachael Leigh Cook? No. Well, I have, and apparently she's been posing as Bill Gates's daughter at cocktail parties. So, how did Ms. Cook get embroiled in these internet shenanigans? Maybe, it was penance for the awful movie Antitrust, which also starred Tim Robbins as a Bill Gates wannabe if Bill Gates was the world's nerdiest Bond villain. Or, maybe, it's because Bill Gates's wife, Melinda, looks vaguely like Cook if you squint real hard and rubbed Vaseline all over your computer screen (now how I knew there was Vaseline by your computer screen is the real mystery). One reason Rachael could have been used in this prank is since she hasn't done anything in 10 years, she's recognizable enough to seem familiar, but not to actually pinpoint who she is... unless, of course, you're a Rachael Leigh Cook superfan (which I am). It's anonymity without being actually anonymous. You know her, but you don't know her, so her being Jennifer Gates is entirely possible.

From what I could tell this particular rumor started as a chain letter then someone added the clever tag line “The Best product from Microsoft,” to the photos and from email to email it replicated into internet fact. And if enough people say Jennifer Gates starred in She's All That then it must be true. But why are we so ready to believe? That's the thing that really fascinated me about all the websites and YouTube videos that promoted these pictures as the genuine article. Not that so many people simply believed them to be true, but how readily and obediently they believed them to be true. Like I said, when you see the truth, you'll see that it is not Bill Gates's daughter that bends, it is only yourself. We believe that Cook is Gates's daughter because we need to believe it.

Why we want Jennifer Gates to be Hot

The first reason, the simple reason, is it's a bonus. Every programmer dreams this dream: you code your little hearts out in school, get hired by Microsoft, meet Bill Gates's daughter at orientation, woo said daughter after orientation, marry daughter in first week, and never work again. Now this fantasy unfolds no matter what his daughter looks like, but it becomes a bonus when she's hot. Anyone would jump on top of Rachael Leigh Cook regardless of how many billions of dollars she was set to inherit.

But the deeper reason we want her to be cute is the rabbit hole cute leads down. Cute goes to Hot goes to Slutty. A hot daughter is a curse we wish on Bill Gates, a pox on his family. There's nothing but bad days when your once sweet little girl becomes Paris Hilton. Okay, so you 56 billion dollars, it doesn't make up for your daughter starring in a night vision fueled sex romp. A small part of us wants his daughter to be beautiful on the very, very off chance we can marry into the Gates fortune. This is minute even in fantasies. The larger part of us wants her to be hot so we can see this end badly.

  • Wednesday's Child
    Comment from: Wednesday's Child
    03/15/11 @ 08:18:49 pm

    I'm very impressed with your analysis of the deeper reason why someone would want RLC (or someone as hot) to be his daughter. It reminds me of the Jamie Lee Curtis Y chromosome rumor: her parents were A-list stars so people wanted to tear them down. But I never thought about the same idea working indirectly the way you describe here.

  • alimurtaza
    Comment from: alimurtaza
    03/21/11 @ 05:23:48 am

    she is most beautiful girl of world.
    I love you

  • haroon
    Comment from: haroon
    08/03/11 @ 02:36:09 am

    she is most nice but maybe bill gates daughter or not maybe she but i even doubt on she

  • Lilian
    Comment from: Lilian
    08/10/11 @ 09:46:44 am

    Hah, great article!
    I was wondering about this aswell, 'cause I was sure Bill Gates "daughter" was an actress names Racheal Leigh Cook who starred in Psych (which, btw ruins her 10 year long "inactiveness").

  • David Lester
    Comment from: David Lester
    10/22/11 @ 03:41:21 am

    What a hot whore. Id tap that. Gas her with nitrous invite my buds over then YEEHA. My first was gang bang time.

  • Nandi
    Comment from: Nandi
    11/13/11 @ 10:42:04 pm

    its nice but its not ........ acceptable

  • andrew jones
    Comment from: andrew jones
    12/06/11 @ 04:23:38 pm

    u guys are all fuckin pervs and bitches u guys need better things to do with ur lives then fantasise about this poor girl bill gates daughter or not doesnt mean u needto explote her like this and all of u guys are fuckin bitches cuz u want to marry her for her money thts fucked up fuck u sons a bitches and go sucka fuckin cock

  • nitin
    Comment from: nitin
    12/13/11 @ 03:17:21 am

    she is most beautiful girl of world.
    I love you
    suppose she is meet me i am prapoose this girl

  • anonymous
    Comment from: anonymous
    01/27/12 @ 12:50:15 pm

  • Zoheb Mohammed
    Comment from: Zoheb Mohammed
    02/01/12 @ 07:37:43 am

    i was watching a season called Psych and she was in this season.I was really wondering where have i seen her??

    well seems like i got my answer

  • asif
    Comment from: asif
    04/10/12 @ 01:12:13 am

    bill gaets doter is very inteligents and very smarts he was a verye siple garle

  • Benjamin
    Comment from: Benjamin
    05/08/12 @ 08:58:26 am

    I think she is not Bill Gates daughter, real Jennifer Gates look like this

  • RR
    Comment from: RR
    06/07/12 @ 02:39:48 am

    that is the way to review mate..koodos..good work man..i am impressed by ur understanding of human mind and how people tend to think in social circumstances..i happen to stumble upon this article myself cuz i knew the so called bill gates best product photos had the picture of Rachael Leigh Cook..and i dint think she was bill gates ur analysis is pretty impressive..

  • ab
    Comment from: ab
    06/08/12 @ 10:52:39 am

    i think she should be a muslim .because she have almost all the thing of this world. if she recite the holy quran by heart i belive she will become muslim because she is a luky grl

  • dhatri
    Comment from: dhatri
    07/11/12 @ 05:28:10 am

    hai your are so beautiful in young

  • Anon
    Comment from: Anon
    04/29/13 @ 06:51:24 am

    The problem with rich kids is that they are inherently selfish and bitchy. Trust me, you do not want to marry a rich girl, because you may one day crack and star smacking the hell out of them, and go to jail.
    Example: my ex, born with millions on the family. Tried to fight and deny she was a spoiled bitch. In essence, she tricked me. But she was subservient in bed and had a huge rack too.
    I dated her for 3yrs long distance. Everything was PERFECT. Fly up to me every 3 weeks, lots of sex. She'd cook and cleans. Laughs all around.
    Then I moved to in with her. I was pulling my hair out in 3 months. Complaining every second about EVERYTHING. If it wasn't her way, she would be moody. I stopped wanting to have sex with her because that meant I had to spend more time next to her while awake. Once that happens, that's it, game over.

  • Abdullokh
    Comment from: Abdullokh
    06/28/13 @ 01:03:35 pm

    Dear Jennifer
    How do you do! Allow me to introduce myseif My name is Abdullokh Akhmadjonov I'm 22 year old I study Tashkent state University of Economics of the Republic of Uzbekistan
    Will you give me your phone number ?
    or Call me this is number
    +998 90 970 58 07

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