P0p Culture Bubble P0rn

I don’t understand bubble p0rn or Mormon p0rn. Actual p0rn is readily available in every corner drugstore; in fact, the vast majority of the Internet is composed of p0rn. It’s like the Beverly Hillbillies but instead of the Clampett’s swampland it’s the Internet, and instead of bubbling crude it’s porn. Poke a hole anywhere in the Internet and porn pours out, it’s a fact. I have enough trouble finding websites that aren’t porn, so why make fake porn?

Are circles intrinsically sexier than no circles? I understand the meaning behind bubble porn, it’s essentially conning god or your parents or whomever you’re trying to impress with your clean-cut porn selection, but is there anything else to it? Some biologists believe that roundness is a primitive sexual trait, and our bodies have evolved as such. Meaning Baby Got Back is Darwinian in nature.

Is it the circle or what’s underneath the circle that counts? Is bubble p0rn the next evolution of smut? And if so then what’s better than round? Double round!

Ms. Pac-Man

Minions

Little Miss

Kirby

Mrs. Potato Head

Chicken McNuggets

Power Girl’s cleavage

Update (12/24/13): Adsense has flagged this post for obscene content. Circles, man... amiright? Too hot for TV... er... the Internet. Can't round with 'em, can't round without 'em.

Update2 (1/15/14): Spelled "p0rn" with a zeroes to further appease G00gle.

Update3 (1/16/14): Adsense has banned Wolf Gnards. I will leave the zeroes to show future generations that I tried. I turns out Mormons that your p0rn can fool God, but it can't fool Google.

  • Gerry
    Comment from: Gerry
    12/31/13 @ 06:26:14 pm

    Bubble porn makes perfect sense: Good god-fearing mormons aren't supposed to look at pictures of naked people. Take a picture of a scantily clad woman; cover it up. Then alter it reveal only the bare skin, through holes or "bubbles".

    You can then effectively pretend that the woman is naked because you can't see any clothes, but you can see plenty of bare skin. Works for me, and I'm not even a mormon!

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