Wolf Gnards

Last night I got around to watching The Foot Fist Way starring Danny McBride. Now, I’m not a huge fan of Danny McBride, but I had, I wouldn’t say high hopes, but mid-level hopes for the movie. A jackass Taekwondo instructor who beats up six-year-olds, that sounds funny to me. But it was just plain bad, completely unfunny, and considering the number of Tom Collins I had in my system anything should have been funny.

Danny McBride is the guy that you see and you say “Oh yeah, I saw him in something or other (most likely Tropic Thunder), and I while I don’t remember particularly liking him, my heart could have contained more hate for him.” I definitely find McBride annoying, but even in bad movies he’s usually not the worst thing in it. What really attracted me to The Foot Fist Way was Will Ferrell’s seal of approval. Will Ferrell films probably fall into my guilty pleasure movies. One of his films usually consist of a unlikely protagonist, a few awkward moments, a bland string of jokes, something surreal, and one or two hilarious scenes. The anchor man gang fight is enough to make up for rest of Anchor Man. The Foot Fist Way was like a Will Ferrell movie with nothing redeeming about it.

Follow up:

There were no jokes period. I think the jokes were supposed to be like, “Oh, this Taekwondo instructor is just so outrageous.” But he was really just a pretty regular jerk. A jerk but a regular jerk. Yes, he beat up a kid. But a jerk would do that. Yes, he hit on his one female client of breeding age. But a regular dude would do that. Yes, he got his ass kicked by Chuck Norris (Chuck the Truck). But it wasn’t over the top. If I may quote Karate Kid yet again, “Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do ‘yes’ or karate do ‘no.’ You karate do ‘guess so,’ squish just like grape.” The Foot Fist Way do comedy “guess so.”

Danny McBride was too good at Taekwondo and a little too good at teaching it. Yes, he lost to the Chuck Norris stand-in, but he kind of held his own. The lovable loser character doesn’t work if the character is neither lovable nor entirely a loser. He needed to go all the way, and by not going all the way, the move fell way short. Just a terrible movie.