Virginity Rates by Majors

Oh, the burden of mathematics. This chart released by Counterpoint Magazine at Wellesley College illustrates the virginity rates among college majors. 83% virgins for both Chemistry and Mathematics. Obviously this proves what I tried to explain to my high school geometry teacher, numbers make vaginas sad. Though, check out the art majors! Should I be concerned that Dee Dee Supreme was a studio artist? What is it about painting that makes them want to touch you all over?
The college virginity chart has been spread across the Internet far and wide, and may or may not be true. The virgin rate seems highly suspect to me. Even if these sex figures were genuinely generated, the statistics are still suspect. Wellesley College is a women’s liberal arts college, any mathematicians there are probably not considered the belle of the ball. What’s more how can we intemperate data from an all girls school? Surely, the sexual statistics are different than a co-ed university? And also we must consider the definitions of sex? Is a late night petting session between Diane Sawyer and Madeleine Albright considered sex, or is it just a harmless tickle party?
Though regardless of how accurate it is, the virginity rate does tell us one thing: nerds and virginity go hand in hand. But did we really need a chart to tell us that nerds weren’t getting laid?
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