Wolf Gnards

There’s a big debate in my circle of nerds: is it spelled Nards or Gnards? To G or not to G, that is the question. It’s been pointed out to me by several people that I should have named the site WolfNards instead of WolfGnards. Why did I go with G? It’s just a little G, but to me it was important. From an SEO standpoint I could potentially lose a lot of Nard-based traffic, but really, how many people are typing “Nards” into Google? Any percentage of zero traffic is still zero. For me, not getting what little Nard traffic, that may or may not exist, was less important than being correct in the spelling of Gnards. A lot of nerd culture basically boils down to be right about things that most people care very little about.

Spelling non-standardized or undocumented words?

In my writing, I’ve been known to use slang or other fringe words that might deviate from the standard dictionary. As chillax as I am, I have not time to wait for the American Heritage Dictionary. In most cases I like to take the matter to the people: what has the most results on search engines. However, by simply googling “Nards” vs “Gnards,” we’ll find that the “Nards” spelling is much more prevalent. The problem is just because it’s used more doesn’t make it correct.

So, alternatives dictionaries can be a great source for slang words, however, they do little to clear up the nard/gnard debate. The Urban Dictionary recognizes both deviations, with separate entries for Nards and Gnards. So, instead we must dig deeper into the etymology of the words. Nards is derived from Spikenard also known as the muskroot. Spikenard: an aromatic perennial herb having rose-purple flowers. Not much to do with testicles, but a musky smell could fit and an allusion to seeds might be there. Gnard has no direct relation to spikenard or other words, but may be related to gnar or gnarl: meaning a knot in wood; also, a tough, thickset man. To me a tough or thick set man has more to do with balls than a bunch of flowers. Gnard can also be a derivative of gonad with only a letter difference separating them.

Why Gnards is preferred?

The silent G helps at the very least elevate nards from common slang to socially accepted lexicon. It adds the smallest amount of legitimacy to very silly word. Plus, the G in gnards helps differentiate gnards from the common name form as in Bernard, Oxnard, Menards. It’s sort of like Oriental vs. Asian. Asian are people. Oriental are things. Nards are for names (author Nard Jones for instance). Gnards are for testicles.

When Snoop Dogg was talking about, “Ain’t nothin’ but a G thang, baby.” The G thing in question was obviously the gnards.