Wolf Gnards

Gobstopper

Starring Christopher Lloyd as Willy Wonka, Martha MacIsaac, Zach Gilford, Paul “Boner” Rust, Nicky Whelan, Paul Scheer as Mr. Slugworth, and Wee Man as Oompa-Loompa.

Not a real movie, but it should be.

The original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was one of the most gruesome movies in history. Augustus Gloop was super heated into fudge, Violet Beauregarde was squeezed until her insides or on her outside, Veruca Salt may or may not have been incinerated but at the very least suffered serious neck or body injury, and Mike Teevee was run through a taffy machine. And where were these kids at the end? No where! Body bags most likely. Not to mention Charlies and Grandpa almost being chopped to bits. Why would such a dangerous over head fan be in the room that stores the Fizzy Lifting Drink? Tim Burton was purposely trying to be creepy in his remark and he didn’t even come close to the original film.