Wolf Gnards

To celebrate Memorial Day, I thought we’d honor one of the ultimate All-American Nerd icons: Wonder Woman. Technically, of course, she’s not an American, she’s from the Amazonian Isle of Themyscira, but I think her star spangled panties speak toward her patriotism (insert saluting flag joke here). Wonder Woman is interesting because she wasn’t created by just any old geek, but by Dr. William Moulton Marston, a psychologist. In other words, a professional nerd. Besides creating Wonder Woman, Dr. Marston also invented the Lie Detector… hmmm, sounds a lot like a magic Lasso of Truth.

Dr. Marston was one of the great comic pioneers because he was one of the few intellectuals of the 1940’s who believed in the educational potential of comic books. DC comics (National Periodicals at the time) eventually hired Dr. Marston as an educational consultant. This lead to the good doctor to creating a character himself, someone originally conceived who would triumph not with fists or firepower, but with the power of love.

To bring Wonder Woman to life, William Marston drew upon the women of his life: namely Elizabeth “Sadie” Holloway Marston and Olive Byrne. It was his wife, Sadie Marston’s idea to even make the character a woman. Legend has it the conversation went like this, “Come on, let’s have a Superwoman! There’s too many men out there.” However, there’s much evidence to support that Wonder Woman also drew on Olive Bryne, the doctor’s live in mistress. Say what!? That’s right, Wonder Woman’s a freak. Whatever twisted fantasy you already had, it’s time to take it up a notch. Olive Bryne was a student of Marston’s who later entered into a polyamorous relationship with both Sadie and William. It definitely puts a new spin on the DC trinity of Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman.

However, even with a open relationship, the far kinky side of Wonder Woman involves her super powers. Wonder Woman would lose her powers if her wrists were bound together. Many early comics involved elaborate schemes to get Wonder Woman tied down. Of course, it actually does have a somewhat feminist point of view, for as hard as the bad guys tried to bend Wonder Women to their will, she always broke free, and she always triumphed over men. The crazier the sadomasochist dilemma, the greater the triumph. Marston’s idea of femininity was a 6-foot-tall Amazon with a golden lasso that forced obedience on the snared. It’s a little like my love for female volleyball players (although with less lassos and more knee socks). I loved in The Brave & the Bold when Wonder Woman and Superman were side by side and she towered over him. In Marston’s mind, women not only held the potential to be as good as men: they could be superior.

A Wonder Woman movie has been in development hell for years. Pretty much any actress with brown hair and a sexy body has been attached to play Wonder Women at some point in time. Jennifer Lopez, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Connelly, Mariah Carey, Rachel Bilson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Beyoncé, Charisma Carpenter, Morena Baccarin (so cute), Jessica Biel, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Katherine Heigl, and Megan Fox. If you’re a brunette in Hollywood and you haven’t been tapped to play Wonder Woman then you’re career is probably not going well. The Sandra Bullock Wonder Woman project was probably the closest one to happening and that wasn’t terribly close at all. Personally, I wouldn’t mind Linda Carter.

Follow up: