Wolf Gnards

It only took 5 years, but the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique finally caught up to David Carradine. It was the Five Point Palm that took Carradine to Bangkok. The Five Point Palm stripped him down and tied him up. Maybe, he thought he couldn’t live up to the legend of Kill Bill. But I don’t want to focus on rumors of suicide or autoerotic asphyxiation. I want to remember David Carradine for who he was and, maybe, more importantly who he could have been.

When I saw Kill Bill, myself and everyone I knew said, “David Carradine is going to be a huge star now.” We all thought that it was as good as done, no doubts in our mind, Carradine was going to blow up. The role was practically made for him, and the guy should have, at least, been nominated for an Oscar or won some minor award. Everyone predicted that this would be the second coming of David Carradine, much the same Quentin Tarantino resurrected John Travolta’s career.

And yet there’s been little to say. Surely Carradine could have been in Face Off 2: Double Overtime, or played a weird fat angel. Where are his accolades and pet projects? Isn’t there an L. Ron Hubbard movie he could have made. Not only did he not take the acting world by storm, but he didn’t even do anything. No one even attempted to cast him in a good movie after Kill Bill.

Follow up:

Let’s look at the list of movies Carradine starred in after Kill Bill volume 1 & 2:
Dead & Breakfast
Homo Erectus
Epic Movie
Fall Down Dead
Camille
How to Rob a Bank
Fuego
Big Stan
Chatham
Richard III
Hell Ride
Last Hour
Death Race (Voice-over)
My Suicide
Absolute Evil
Crank: High Voltage

These aren’t even real movies. I think Feugo was shot in my backyard. The biggest movie he was in was Crank: High Voltage! The best part he had since Kill Bill were ads for Yellowbook. But there’s a distinct possibility that he didn’t want to be a star, and didn’t want to be in high profile films. Maybe, he said, “I’m 73, I don’t have the energy to be in quality productions anymore.” It’s a fact that Michael Caine chooses all his parts now based on vacation destinations.

Of course, maybe, not getting the all out Travolta treatment by Hollywood drove Carradine mad. Drove him to the back allies of Bangkok seeking cheap thrills and excitement. We’ll probably never know, but I just feel like the film world missed out on something that could have been pretty special.

PS… Quentin if you’re reading and I’m fairly certain you are, the next person you need to bring back is Denis Haskins (TV’s Mr. Belding). He’d make an excellent pimp.