It’s a dawn of a new era here at Wolf Gnard HQ. They say genius can only be understood if it’s been properly framed. Well, I finally have the frame, now where’s that genius?
For the first 6 months, I had a generic banner and I was never a fan of it. I had a nice wolf logo, but it wasn’t really enough to make up for how horrible the rest of it was. In fact, I think it made the banner look even worse by comparison. So blue, so spacious, so boring. So, after much begging and pleading, I was able to get illustrator extraordinaire, Josh Schneider, to lend a hand. If you’re not familiar with Josh’s work, go buy You’ll Be Sorry, or, well, you’ll be sorry. Even if you’re not a fan of children’s books, you have to admit his work with gnards is magnificent. It could be the way he handles them, or his fine stroke… okay, I’ll stop.
But I really do think it frames the site nicely. My biggest problem before with the old look was that people thought I was crazy. They didn’t understand I was joking, and wrote me off as a crazed lunatic. Now they KNOW I’m crazy, but the good kind of crazy. The lovable town drunk crazy, not the stab you, aluminum foil hat sort of crazy. The proper frame turns my idiotic pop culture rants into playful, almost enjoyable rants.
The Old Wolf Gnards Banner
The biggest problem with the old banner was that it was just generic II hated seeing it on other sites!). Which made Wolf Gnards a little like cheap grocery store cereal (just as a good as name brand, but hell if I want to eat it). I was never a fan of this background, it was just one of the least horrible options I had to choose from. Plus it had an easy space to put a logo. I was always afraid that people thought that if the blog looked half ass, it was half ass. You see this and you think, “Oh that poor retarded boy, he’s so angry about his television stories.”
The New Wolf Gnards Banner
This is Wolf Gnards: The Next Generation, far superior to the original (There I said it, it needed to be said – Picard Rules!). This is gnards the way gnards was meant to be. A smidgen of Teen Wolf, a little Risky Business, and plenty of Monster Squad. Tasteful,too; I like to keep it classy. You think, “He’s an insightful young man, whose insights I would follow, and I’d like to let editors and possible advertisers know possesses a certain amount of purchasing power.”
And, yes, I just analyzed my own website. I gnarded Wolf Gnards. THAT… JUST… HAPPENED.
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I have seen sales for my book sky-rocket, causing royalties to accumulate in alarmingly tall and structurally unsound piles, all thanks to the cultural might wielded by the owner of this fine website. Just one plug, and my retirement is secure. I can only imagine the kind of profits he could generate for an enterprising pornographer. A pornographer with vision. Or Fritolay.