Wolf Gnards

I was talking to some friends about all the terrible shows that Fox had tried to package with X-Files (because this is how my crew rolls). Of course, there’s the spin offs like Millennium and the Lone Gunmen, but what I’ve always thought were more interesting were the sandwich shows, bad programs sandwiched between two good programs. Friday nights when X-Files originally aired, Fox tried a one two punch with X-Files and whichever show people were willing to watch besides X-Files (which turned out to be none).

X-Files was paired with such gems as M.A.N.T.I.S. and Strange Luck. A lot of you will probably say Strange Luck was a pretty decent show, and a lot of you will be wrong. This is the Jedi mind trick of network programming. Take an interesting premise (extremely good luck in this case), place it close proximity to X-Files wonderment, and fondness for D.B. Sweeney. It takes more than a little Doug Dorsey window dressing to make a hit show. That only lasts two or three episodes at best. If you don’t remember M.A.N.T.I.S. then lucky you: a handicapped superhero, what were they thinking?

When I looked at Fox’s programming schedule for the last twenty years though, something far more interesting emerges. They had a hit with X-Files then moved it to Sunday night, and on Friday nights Fox aired a new scifi/drama, and when that failed, Fox aired a nother new scifi/drama and so on and so on. It was a steady stream of one hour science fiction heavy dramas, and it was more than just hoping lightning would strike twice. It’s as if they had a study that said, “Nerds watch shows on Friday nights.” Here’s their logic, Nerds don’t have friends, so they watch TV on Friday nights. Nerds are ugly, so they cannot get dates, so they watch TV on Friday nights.

But it didn’t work. Fox went through a slew of programming, some of it like Wonderfalls were critical darlings, most of them were not. The one thing they all had in common though were insanely low ratings. After M.A.N.T.I.S. and Strange Luck came Sliders, Millennium, The Visitor, Harsh Realm, FreakyLinks, Dark Angel, Firefly, John Doe, Wonderfalls, Sarah Connor Chronicles, and Dollhouse.

On thing this shows is nerds do socialize. Chat rooms, Star Trek Conventions, Wolf Gnards, World of Warcrarft, LARP, Cosplay, what have you. We’re good. We’re taken care of. Nerds have nerd friends. Nerds date nerds. We have shit to do on a Friday night.

Though, if you want to bring back X-Files… I’ll watch.