Wolf Gnards

Question: How did Steven Seagal become Jim Belushi? Much like Carnegie Hall, the answer is practice, lots and lots of practice. Or is it doughnuts? Lots and lots of doughnuts? Steven Seagal shows off more than just his martial arts skills in his new A&E show Steven Seagal: Lawman, but showcases his world class eating abilities as well. Steven Seagal has always been known to be amongst the most pudgy of action heroes, but to hit Jim Belushi levels is an entirely new level fatness. Not since Sammo Hung has a martial artist been so fat, yet retaining so many of the bad ass qualities that make him so near and dear to our hearts.

Seagal’s transformation wasn’t over night though. It was a gradual transition to Belushi. How did he do it? Steven Seagal is a 7th degree black belt in Akido, what this allows Seagal to do is eat food at an alarming rate. Like world eating champion, Takeru Kobayashi, he can control his stomach muscles to clear up additional room, be it for doughnuts, pizza, tacos, gummy bears, pork fried rice, what have you, Steven Seagal can eat it and eat a lot of it. And even more important, who gets the last doughnut? Why the 7th degree black belt , of course. And while it was a slow change, let us remember that Jim Belushi has been working on being Jim Belushi nearly his entire life, whereas Seagal has managed to achieve Jim Belushi in only a handful of years.

What are the Benefits to being Jim Belushi?

Seagal’s new Belushi-esque body, however, can limit his martial arts skills. While, still good with holds and a variety of punching strikes, he can no longer kick or move his lower body with much functionality, preferring to travel with either Rascal or Segway. However, what Seagal has gained (besides weight) is humor. Steven Seagal is much funnier than ever before.

One of the oldest math equations holds true:
Fat = Funny

Weight to Humor Chart

As a comic, Jim Belushi just isn’t funny. He just doesn’t have the MBI of a Chris Farley or Jonah Hill to achieve maximum funny. However, if we put a Jim Belushi body in the different situation, say as a Hollywood tough guy, he suddenly becomes very funny. So, we see that it takes more than just sheer body weight to be funny. A fat comedian needs to be very fat to be funny, whereas, a fat weather man only needs to be pleasantly plump to be entertaining. It’s the fat context of the fat index which makes it funny. Which means an action hero doesn’t need to be very fat at all to be funny, a pot belly and a gun will usually do the job.