Wolf Gnards

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who like Back to the Future II and those who like Back to the Future III. This is like Bloods vs Crips, Burt or Ernie, Team Edward vs Team Jacob. They have a lot in common, yet are fundamentally different. Wait, you say, what about the original Back to the Future? Well, of course, no one would choose II or III if the first was on the table. So, forget about the first movie for a second, and take your pick.

If you like Back to the Future II, you generally look to the future. You’re very impressed by things that float, i.e. hover boards, flying cars, wood, ducks, Michael Phelps, wooden Michael Phelps (with or without duck feathers). You have a good sense of humor; you’re easily amused, and it’s easy for you to amuse others. Do you like short cuts? Hell, yes! Why work hard in life when you can just buy a Grays Sports Almanac? Of course, such plans rarely work out and usually end with someone getting struck by a bolt of lightning. You take chances though, and you’re more than willing to work hard to clean up any mistakes (such as any pesky temporal paradoxes). And much like at the end of the movie, your day ends with the words, “To be Concluded…” meaning you’re not big on finishing what you started, though you are pretty good at Wild Gunman, so you got that going for you.

Back to the Future III is for those who like to look towards the past. You analyze history and make logical decisions based off that history. Much like the Doc, you’re alive and well, you’re stuck in the past, but you’re alive. Basically, your friends need to have seen every movie in the 80’s to even get half of your references. You’re also more into the plot than special effects, although, you often mistake this for good taste. And you’re perfectly alright with people calling you yellow (most likely because you’ve never been in any sort of fight). Boring, predictable, with a penchant for ZZ Top style beards, yet ultimately a romantic at heart. One thing is for certain though BTTF III fans are much better with picking up the ladies:

Ultimately, we’re all the same though because everyone’s favorite Back to the Future movie is the first one. Let’s not concentrate on our differences, but on our similarities. Roads, we don’t need roads… the power of love and all that nonsense.

To be Continued at the Gunaxin podcast…