Wolf Gnards

Nothing marks summer like the running of the interns. I get to boss young kids around, watch my crusty old co-workers try to flirt with fresh-faced 20 somethings, and I get to see into the mind of the elusive college girl. Good times. But what I’ve found in those minds is mostly gibberish. Goo Goo Ga Gas and all that. Oh, they start out normal enough; they don’t suck their thumbs in the interview or anything. They seem like smart young women with their heads firmly on their shoulders, but then something changes. It starts with a harmless emoticon in an instant message or email, a frowny face when you tell them to do something over again. You let it slide because it’s just one frowny face, but it’s really just the beginning… the calm before the storm, before the onslaught of full on baby talk. This is Generation Wah!

Generation Wah! consists mostly of women from the ages of 20-25 (give or take a couple of years) who communicate mainly in infantile verbiage, or baby talk. Now there have been woman who have used baby doll voices on men since the dawn of existence, Jezebel is perhaps one of the earliest examples (And Jezebel saith, “I whaw makey-up juz wike, Mommy. Yay, Isweal!”). However, never before has baby talk been so prevalent and widely accepted. Examples can include upon finishing an assignment saying something like “I do good?” or “Me tiwerd. Me go home now?” I’ve come across one instance that is a particularly strange baby talk/Asian hybrid, instead of saying “more” she would say, “Mao” (which coincidentally is the same way I imitate my cat).

Follow up:

So, where did this baby talk phenomenon come from?

Retaliation: The Baby Talk Arms Race

Men have become a generation of boys, a prolonged adolescence for a good 20 or 30 years. I’ll be the first to admit it: I’m not a man, I’m a 30-year-old boy. This very blog is a testament to my endless levels of immaturity. So, when confronted by a room full of boys acting out, what is the best way to top them? Go baby. It’s sort of a retaliation or one-upmanship. If men want to act like boys, women are going to act like babies. It’s really the only answer. Think of it as an emotional arms race of regression. Men have become boys. Women have become babies. What’s next? Men will become fetuses (gurgle, gurgle). Women: eggs. Men: sperm. And so on and so forth until we’ve become subatomic particles.

The Text Mess: The Technology Behind Baby Talk

I don’t think it’s a secret that texting, IMing, and chatting have been eroding our language. Even blogs like this one have a hand in it (notice my complete lack of respect for any of the rules of rules). Texting is largely a combination of slang and short hand designed for the ease of thumbs on tiny keys. And what was made for our thumbs has migrated to our mouths (just like sucking thumbs). If you’ve noticed, the members of Generation Wah! are extremely proficient at texting, most can text faster than I can speak. “Where u @,” “OMG,” and “LOL” have all become common phrases. And how often have you heard these and other text lingo spoken out loud? Many times I would assume. And how easy is it for something like “thanks” to become “THX” to become “tanks.”

Teletubbie Terminology: The Television Shows of Generation Wah!

To understand where baby talk came from, we have to look at what Generation Wah! was raised on. Let’s examine the popular cartoons of the ‘90’s: when our Muppets were babies and toons were tiny.

Some of our favorite cartoons and kid shows from the late 80’s and 90’s include: Bobby’s World, Rugrats, Muppet Babies, 101 Dalmatians, a Pup Named Scooby Doo, Life with Louie, Elmo, and Tiny Toon Adventures. Many of which either featured younger versions of cartoon staples or adult comics doing younger versions of themselves. Even cartoons like Rocko’s Modern Life, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, SpongeBob Squarepants, and Animaniacs featured characters with forms of mild retardation, which can border on infantile behavior.

Also, shows like Full House with the Olsen Twins inane catch phrases could have played a role. Kids saying, “You got it, dude,” way past the time of it being either cute or funny anymore. Is there an element of Michelle Tanner in Generation Wah!? I like to think there’s an element of Michelle Tanner in us all, but that’s beside the point.

However, perhaps the biggest impact could be Dinosaurs. Not an actual cartoon or really even as well remembered as the other examples, it did, however, have one of the most heavily promoted baby characters of the time. Voiced by Kevin Clash (the same voice of Elmo), Baby Sinclair had several notable catch phrases plastered all over t-shirts, lunch boxes, and pop culture. Those included, “Not the momma,” “Again!,” and, of course, “I’m the Baby, gotta love me.” I’m the baby, gotta love me: is there a phrase that sums up Generation Wah! any better?

Generation Wah! Acceptance

Regardless of how it came about, the main reason baby talk is still around is largely because it works. Batted eyelashes, pouty lips, and “P-p-p-pwease”s can go a long way. But the thing that needs to be remembered is that it only works for so long. A day? A night? An hour? It really all depends on how good looking she is.

The better looking Generation Wah! is the more willing we are to go along with all that is Generation Wah! However, there’s limitations to anything, and my tolerance of baby talk comes with a built in expiration date. The best anyone could probably hope for is six months and she has to be a supermodel for that. The longest I’ve ever seen it last is 30 days, and that isn’t a put down, but a testament to just how good looking they were.

A grown woman who does baby talk may be silly, but remember that they’re only babies because part of us wants them to be.