Wolf Gnards

It seems like a fair amount of the Internet has been waiting for me to dismantle the new Teen Wolf TV series. Even before it aired people wanted me to lambast it with biting retorts. I actually saw the first 15 minutes of Teen Wolf way back at Comic-Con last summer, and while I wasn’t particularly impressed then (or at all), I wasn’t ready to tear it a new teen hole either. Well, I’ve seen three episodes and I’m ready to speak.

The first thing you have to know about the new Teen Wolf show is that this is not Teen Wolf.

The second thing you have to know about the new Teen Wolf show is that this is Twilight.

No matter what the producers might say to the contrary, the new Teen Wolf show on MTV is more influenced by the Twilight books and movies than it is by the original Teen Wolf film. Now if you can get over this, which I know is asking a lot, but if you can then you might actually find you enjoy the show. Now if you can’t get over this then it’s definitely time to change the channel.

Part of the problem is us, the viewer. We no longer live in an age where Teen Wolf can be made the way we loved and remembered it. The original Teen Wolf movie was about a teenager, Scott (Michael J. Fox), who became a werewolf and used those powers to become good at basketball (and to a larger extent popular), and throughout the film nobody really cared that he was a werewolf. At no point in the film, did anyone question why Michael J. Fox was a werewolf. At no point, did they even question why being a werewolf made him good at basketball. I mean jumping is fine and all, but dribbling? Come on! Wolves aren’t known for their killer crossovers. These are small disbeliefs that we no longer suspend so easily.

Good or bad, we as an audience, can longer accept a werewolf going to high school and everyone not only being fine with it, but very encouraging of a werewolf being on school grounds. As well as buying werewolf t-shirts and changing the school mascot to a wolf. A feel good monster comedy then gets replaced with something that’s a little easier to wrap our heads around, namely Twilight. A little less of the funny, a little more darkness, and a lot more yearning, it’s pretty easy to see how they got there. Plus, being on MTV, it’s a little hard not to draw those comparisons. MTV has basically become one long commercial for Twilight.

Follow up:

How They MTV-ized Teen Wolf

I actually don’t hate the new Teen Wolf, it’s not a poorly made show once you get beyond those first two glaring speed bumps: this is not Teen Wolf and, yes, you are watching MTV. As a Twilight rip-off, after just three episodes it’s better than Twilight. You don’t have to deal with Robert Pattinson’s diarrhea face or anything like that. But it’s not Teen Wolf, and that’s what you’re going to be coming back to over and over again. That this is so utterly not Teen Wolf, and it’s so apparent that MTV just took the Teen Wolf license to glom off our good will sort of leaves a bad taste in ones throat.

Even the minor changes say so much about the people broadcasting it. The show does not take place in Beacon Town as it did in the first movie, but in Beacon Hills. The same Hills as Lauren Conrad? P.S. her face is just as hairy (that’s an “oh, snap” for my girls). They don’t play basketball, they play lacrosse. No sport has a higher percentage of douchebags and date rapists (and that’s saying a lot). The new Scott’s (Tyler Posey) athletic rival is no longer the blue collar sounding and blue collar looking (I believe he wore a jeans, jean jacket combo at one point in the film), Mick, but Jackson Whittemore. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more made up name in my life. There’s no Chubby because there are no chubby people at Beacon Hills High. And cute, girl next door, Boof, was replaced by mysterious new girl Allison Argent. They could have just called the show Laguna Wolf and been done with it.

It’s that love interest, though, that has spiraled into Twilight territory. I guess I knew that they couldn’t clone Susan Ursitti (the original Boof), but to go so far away from all that is Boofness is just a little unsettling. The original film’s romantic storyline involved Scott having to choose between a love that was real, but simple and a love that was idealized. Does she love Scott or does she love the wolf? Whereas the new Teen Wolf goes with the now standard Twilight metaphor for spousal abuse: I only bite you because I love you.

Both versions can use transformation as a metaphor for puberty. The original might mean that changes, both physical and emotional, can lead to tough choices. The changes in our lives and the choices we make because of those changes are a universal experience. The new version borders a little more on teens are animals with crazy teen emotions. And while sometimes true, it’s really an out of touch way of looking at teenagers. However, the characters on the new show are not bad. They are nice, well rounded characters that are mostly not annoying despite lapses of too many feelings.

Teen Wolf or Eddie Munster?

Also, they didn’t even go with the iconic Teen Wolf look—sort of Wookieish with that classic “T” shaped face—instead something a little more in lieu with Eddie Munster. In fact, almost exactly like Eddie Munster. In fact, so much like Eddie Munster I have to believe either the creators were purposely trying to make him look like Eddie Munster or the makeup artist was making an inside joke. But there’s a benefit to a less hairy wolfman, that being it’s easier to be teenage heartthrob. As far as I know, Chewbacca was never featured in Tiger Beat (although, he should have been). It’s easier to make out Posey’s features and advertise him as a sexy teen beast… much like Butch Patrick.

Other things like lacrosse are forgivable for the same reason. Since, he’s not going to be an out of the closet monster, Scott needs to play a sport where he can be mostly covered with pads and a helmet. However, I’d like to see more nods to the original film. I’d like to see a little more humor and more Easter eggs. The wacky coach harkens to the original, which was nice. The bowling scene was a good touch and Tyler Posey did strike a mighty fine J. Fox pose, but there’s a lot more room to play with. I’d like to see a Wolfmobile, a fat guy, Jason Bateman, a keg of beer, a play with a plantation burning down, a dog whistle, and wet floors.

High Notes
Relatively good acting
Well written
Stiles (he’s not our Stiles, but he’s a Stiles, and a somewhat lovable goof at that. I’d rate Dylan O’Brien’s performance as way ahead of Stuart Fratkin’s and a little behind Jerry Levine’s)
Werewolves on TV

Low Notes
No Boof
Dream sequence (You’re allowed one, don’t make it two)
Predicable storylines
Lacrosse
Butch Patrick

For a Teen Wolf show it’s meh, for a teen drama it’s middling to good, for a Twilight clone it’s downright wonderful.