Wolf Gnards

Continued from Part I

As you might have read earlier for some unknown reason, Busy Beaver Buttons asked me to make a superhero button. I said yes as I don’t need to be asked twice to self promote, but the problem then arises that I have to actually make a button. Or do anything in general, which is not really my bag. If you wonder why I only do an update about once a week, it’s because coming up with ideas and committing to ideas is just exhausting (especially when there’s more important video games to be playing). You would think if I was designing a superhero themed button it’d be easy. That I would just slap a cape on a wolf and call it day, but I went with Taft instead. Who’s the fat president that’s a sex machine to all the chicks? Taft, ya, damn right.

The Real Man Behind the Button

William Howard Taft is my favorite president because while he is the only man to ever serve as both the President of the United States and Chief Justice of the United States, he will best be remembered for getting stuck in a bathtub. I just like a fat president, or a fat guy in general. Marlon Brando is better fat. Steven Seagal: better fat. Val Kilmer: better fat. In politics though, it’s like hot chicks that have fat friends to make themselves look hotter; the same thing works with president. You look more politically savvy when you stand next to the politically portly.

Who’s that dynamic, well-informed leader of men standing next to Taft, you ask.

Why that’s Wolfie G. Nards, they say.

My god, he’s as sexy as he is up on current politics. Fantastic.

Follow up:

Why “Taft Smash”?

Truthfully the whole Taft thing is kind of an inside joke that got out of hand. Busy Beaver posted up some presidential buttons. I think I said something stupid like “I like my coffee like I like my presidents: fat” or “I like my coffee like I like my presidents: buttered (because of all the butter they had to use to get Taft unstuck from the tub).” Then they posted some Taft buttons to me, and sent me a Taft button they printed for someone else. Then I posted my Taft vs. Hulk image, which was inspired by the Obama/Spider-Man team-up. And that’s the genesis of “Taft Smash.”

Bedroom Taft by Josh Schneider

Me not being a great artist though meant that I had to find someone to make a button for me. So, I took it to an illustrator friend, the same one who designed the Wolfman in his underwear logo, and said, “Do this for me.” And to my surprise, he did. Except that I didn’t really explain the whole concept of “Taft Smash” or why Taft would be smashing. Even something as simple as “You know sort of like the Hulk,” would have helped. But if you’re reading this, or have read other articles, then you already know I’m not a big on coherent statements. Or reason. So, my friend drew this three quarters Taft who looks awfully sultry, and while I do want to sleep with him, it doesn’t have that Hulk vibe. Too which I said, “Do it again.” To which he said, “Screw yourself.” So, I did.

After that I went to the Busy Beaver’s in-house design team and sheepishly shrugged my shoulders (which was accompanied by a baby-like wah). To which they said they could probably give me a little more time to put this together. To which I shrugged a little harder. To which they relented and said, “Fine, we’ll do it for you.” And that my friend is how a button gets made. Here’s a comic to help:

How to Make a Button Comic

So, I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson here: If you ask someone to do something for you, they probably will. You don’t even have to ask nicely. If you just do nothing someone else that needs it to get done will do it for you. Words to live by. And, also, I still have no idea how buttons are made.